Finding out that Rudy Giuliani was taking Donald Trump’s case pro bono makes a weird kind of sense. I mean, Rudy’s utter incompetence and penchant for digging Trump’s hole of trouble ever deeper is deeply embarrassing for that monster, but Trump’s distaste for paying for the work that people do for him is also pretty well noted. Rudy may be doing a lousy job, but free is free, yeah? But beyond free, Trump’s trouble with finding representation for his pending legal issues has been very public, so his willingness to go to bat for the man has value as well. But yeah, as the old saying goes, you get what you pay for, and Rudy’s work is certainly worth the price tag of zero dollars.
There is something just wholly wrong and distasteful about bad people trying to justify bad policies using the words of heroes. This is a significant week for many Americans. Monday was Martin Luther King Jr. Day. He was a great man whose contributions to the civil rights movement and social discourse and our societal mindset is…well It’s incalculable. His influence was so powerful, and so inspirational, that generations of young people can tell you the preamble to his most famous speech easier than they can tell you the preamble to the Declaration of Independence. So when Mike Pence when on Face the Nation last Sunday, and used Reverend King’s words to advocate for a border wall…well that left a shameful taste in a lot of people’s mouths. Because building walls and dividing people was not his way. It is the driving strategy of our current administration, but it was a stark betrayal of the philosophy of one of the greatest orators of the last 200 years.
So, the 2 funniest stories of last week feel oddly connected. First, we have Trump hosting a White House dinner for College Football Champs, the Clemson Tigers, and feeding them fast food, which…I mean there is just no way that wasn’t going to turn into a big national joke. Then the very next day, you have news coming out that Trump tried to circumvent Nancy Pelosi by inviting House Democrats to lunch, but like the weird kid in class throwing a birthday party, no one showed up. Now, the obvious reason behind that is that the Dems are making a show of solidarity, and the fact is that what Trump wants is unreasonable, and no one wants to give it to him. But a part of me wants to believe that no one showed up because they didn’t want Trump feeding them leftover Big Macs and Whoppers. Best case scenario, Trump orders an entirely new batch of fast food. I know he says it’s because he doesn’t have a kitchen staff during the shutdown, but let’s be real: It’s no great secret that Trump loves him some fast food. He must love that he has any kind of excuse to mow down on that greasy, artery clogging goodness.
If there is one thing I’ve learned that one should never do in politics, is fail to give a direct answer to a question that could make you look guilty. I initially learned the lesson when Rex Tillerson refused to say that he called Trump a moron by dancing around the question. When you fail to actually say you didn’t do something, there WILL be a significant group of people who will ask if that means you did do it. Donald Trump didn’t learn that lesson as shown last weekend, when Jeanine Pirro asked if he was a Russian agent. Instead of just saying “No” or “of course now”, he went with the dance, suggesting that the question was offensive. Especially considering the recent reports that suggest there is a good reason to believe that Trump may be hiding a lot in regards to his relationship to Putin. It’s worrying to hear that he’s been hiding the transcripts of his interactions with the despot, and it doesn’t do anyone any good for Trump to drop the “offended” card, which is weird given his and his supporters penchant for making fun of people for taking any kind of offense.
Closing on the 3 week mark for the trainwreck of a government shutdown. And here is were we’re starting to see the seams come undone. A payperiod has passed by, and government workers are feeling the heat. I have trouble believing that ALL of these people are prepared to make the necessary adjustments and have Trump’s back on this. But the thing is, Trump isn’t on the path to some big victory here. Quit the opposite. Republican leaders are calling on Trump to let this go. So who is this for anymore? I’ll tell you! Fox News! The unofficial echo chamber of the White House! They’re the only ones still egging Trump on with this border wall. They’re the ones that keep goading him to stick to his guns. Between Sean Hannity and Lou Dobbs, the Fox wall of propaganda is keeping the pressure alive, and I get the feeling that he’ll keep fighting as long as they keep pushing. So get ready for a the long haul folks, because I don’t know that Sean Hannity even knows how to chill the hell out.
As the partial government shut down barrels into it’s third week, Trump continues to try and convince people that it’s a) not his fault and b) totally fine because if anyone can handle life without a paycheck, it’s those government employees. They’re all swimming in dough! On Sunday, when asked if was able to relate to people who can’t pay their bills. To which Trump, of course, said that he could. Of course he could! Of course Trump can relate to the common man and their money problems. I mean, Trump himself is no stranger to money problems. Remember that time in the early 1990’s when he was a missed payment away from losing his businesses? I mean, he still got to live in his penthouse in New York, and had all the comforts of wealth, but goodness, the banks had to put him on a spending allowance! I mean, that’s basically the same as not getting a paycheck, right? He can totally relate to the people he’s selfishly screwing over in the name of a bad campaign promise! And it’s okay, because everyone who is being screwed is totally fine with it because they all care more about a wall that will do little to stem illegal immigration than being able to pay rent and for utilities!
Tuesday, January 8, 2019 was an interesting night in the history of the United States. Donald Trump went on live television to declare that there was a humanitarian crisis at the southern border, even though there wasn’t/isn’t. He distorted facts and lied for about 10 minutes, and then, like the most informal debate ever recorded, the Democratic leaders of congress went on TV to rebut Trump’s speech. Just so we’re clear, the President of the United States went on TV for the express purpose of lying to the people, and Congressional leaders followed up immediately by going on TV to call him on it. It was crazy enough that I can’t even think of a fitting metaphor to compare it to. It feels kind of unprecedented and it really encapsulates what political discourse has turned into over the last couple of years. Even if Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi didn’t rebut Trump’s speech, most major news organizations were running fact checks as he was speaking, and news sites put up annotated transcripts of exactly what was said and what was wrong. That’s just what politics is in 2019. And I don’t know that it’s ever going back to what it was.
As the partial government shut down barrels into it’s third week, Trump continues to try and convince people that it’s a) not his fault and b) totally fine because if anyone can handle life without a paycheck, it’s those government employees. They’re all swimming in dough! On Sunday, when asked if was able to relate to people who can’t pay their bills. To which Trump, of course, said that he could. Of course he could! Of course Trump can relate to the common man and their money problems. I mean, Trump himself is no stranger to money problems. Remember that time in the early 1990’s when he was a missed payment away from losing his businesses? I mean, he still got to live in his penthouse in New York, and had all the comforts of wealth, but goodness, the banks had to put him on a spending allowance! I mean, that’s basically the same as not getting a paycheck, right? He can totally relate to the people he’s selfishly screwing over in the name of a bad campaign promise! And it’s okay, because everyone who is being screwed is totally fine with it because they all care more about a wall that will do little to stem illegal immigration than being able to pay rent and for utilities!
For Donald Trump, it’s clear that victory is not what’s important. You don’t need to win as long as you can create the appearance of winning. Failing that, just declaring victory to a big enough crowd will do in a pinch. It helps when the things you are “winning” are nebulous and ill defined. Trump won by making America great again? Well sure! I mean, he’s not getting his wall funding from either Mexico or Congress, the country is more divided than ever, the rest of the world thinks we’re a joke and/or cowards and our economy is in a nosedive, but I mean, there was a Tax bill. That’s pretty great right? The same goes for the “War on Christmas.” I mean, it’s easy to win a war that isn’t actually happening. Leave it to Trump to declare victory for a Holiday that 90% of the country celebrates in one form or another. But I guess that’s what you have to do when you promised in your campaign that you’d keep stacking wins, only to have practically none when it came time to put rubber to the road.
So Donald Trump’s first big campaign push for 2020 is a phone line that you can leave him little thank you messages on. And I’m going to give you the number. It’s 1-800-684-3043. You’ll have to get through the solicitation portion, but once there, you can leave the President a message. Any message. You can tell the man exactly what you think about him and his presidency. The expectation, according to the remarkably self serving campaign ad that aired on CNN, is that you’ll thank him for doing all the things he’s doing to our country. I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t feeling particularly thankful when I called the number, and I may have used a few more expletives than is dignified, but I have to tell you, it was a wonderfully cathartic experience. I don’t know that Trump himself will ever actually hear my message, but I have to say, even the thought of it gives me some glimmer of satisfaction. So call the number, let the man know what you’re thinking.
Mind the Exit 