Ted Cruz.  I kind of appreciate him going above and beyond to justify the unjustifiable for his Master, Donald Trump. When asked to explain why a space based branch of the military was necessary, he proudly suggested that space pirates would be a problem.  After all, he proclaimed, Navies the world over have had to deal with sea pirates for hundreds of years, it only makes logical sense that Space Pirates would also be a problem!

Do I need to explain how the logic doesn’t track? No? Well I’m going to anyway.

Sea piracy was always going to be a problem, because there were plenty of sea faring vehicles to commandeer and getting from ship to ship was as easy as jumping from one place to the next.  Those are pretty big hiccups to overcome for people wanting to pirate in space.  There aren’t an over abundance of spacefaring vehicles.  In fact they pretty much are non-existent until they are needed to get to space, and the ones that are built are basically one use items.  They get them up there, and that’s about it.  And they certainly aren’t equipped to help pirates dock OTHER non-existent space trade ships, because again, THOSE AREN’T A THING!  It only becomes a thing if we make it a thing.  Space Pirates could only ever exist if we make a world a space military becomes exists.  It’s a problem that creates the problem you’re trying to solve…which now that I think about, sounds pretty much like what politicians do anyway…