Space Pirates

Space Pirates1

Ted Cruz.  I kind of appreciate him going above and beyond to justify the unjustifiable for his Master, Donald Trump. When asked to explain why a space based branch of the military was necessary, he proudly suggested that space pirates would be a problem.  After all, he proclaimed, Navies the world over have had to deal with sea pirates for hundreds of years, it only makes logical sense that Space Pirates would also be a problem!

 

Do I need to explain how the logic doesn’t track? No? Well I’m going to anyway.

 

Sea piracy was always going to be a problem, because there were plenty of sea faring vehicles to commandeer and getting from ship to ship was as easy as jumping from one place to the next.  Those are pretty big hiccups to overcome for people wanting to pirate in space.  There aren’t an over abundance of spacefaring vehicles.  In fact they pretty much are non-existent until they are needed to get to space, and the ones that are built are basically one use items.  They get them up there, and that’s about it.  And they certainly aren’t equipped to help pirates dock OTHER non-existent space trade ships, because again, THOSE AREN’T A THING!  It only becomes a thing if we make it a thing.  Space Pirates could only ever exist if we make a world a space military becomes exists.  It’s a problem that creates the problem you’re trying to solve…which now that I think about, sounds pretty much like what politicians do anyway…

Title Change

Title Change1

Over the last few days, it’s become clear that William Barr isn’t the Attorney General.  The Attorney General of the United States is the chief federal lawyer, head of the Justice Department, and tasked with ensuring that the federal government is diligently pursuing the course of justice.  He is not, as some might think, the lawyer tasked with defending the President.  There are other lawyers tasked with that job.  There is a whole office dedicated to giving the President legal council.  With that in mind, William Barr has gone out of his way to more or less disregard the evidence of an investigation that probed, amongst other things, whether or not Donald Trump obstructed justice to keep himself out of trouble.  Beyond that, it appears he, at best, misled Congress and the people of the United States in regards to what fruit the investigation bore.  At worst, he’s a big fat, pants of fire  liar, all for the sake of keeping the President out of trouble. With the news breaking that Robert Mueller, Special Council in said investigation, actively getting in touch with Barr to let him know that he mischaracterized the report he submitted, Barr has no valid argument to suggest he was just going by the book.  So no. He’s not the Attorney General.  He’s the President’s Lapdog.

Important Business

important business1

I’m glad to know that after a day of Tweeting over 50 times, ranting about how unfair he’s being treated, Trump cleared the very next afternoon to have an important meeting about the important issue facing his presidency: the loss of Twitter subscribers.  No joke, he had a closed door meeting with Twitter CEO, Jack Dorsey, where instead of focusing on Twitter’s efforts to tackle the very real, very prescient issue of Opioid abuse, he spent the bulk of his time complaining about his subscriber count.  I mean, I guess considering how he’s been acting since the release of the Mueller Report, I shouldn’t have expected too much, but you’d think considering how much work he hasn’t been getting done over the last several days, he’d take his one big meeting to talk about actual policy.  I mean, hell, he talked about prison reform with Kim Kardashian.  Yet somehow, Jack Dorsey has to deal with Trump petulantly whining about being targeted by Twitter, even though Twitter has announced publicly, several times, that the reason for fluctuating numbers is the removal of bots and fake accounts.  Did he really need to call in the CEO for something that has already been explained to him?

Health Expert

Health warnings1\

I keep expecting to at some point stop being surprised by the stupid, obviously fake crazy lies that Donald Trump tells.  I also keep hoping that at some point, his supporters will hear this insanity and realize he’s braindamaged.  Then he says like “windmills cause cancer” and his base just jumps on board and I lose a little bit of hope for humanity.  I mean, he seriously suggested that the sounds of windmill cause cancer.  Can we just let that digest for a moment? No study or evidence of any kind to back it up.  Just a fun generic “they say” to preface it.  I mean, who is “they”?!  I don’t know what else to say.