Everything is Awesome

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He’s still pretending everything is cool with North Korea!  Despite literally everything seemingly falling apart, North Korean officials all but saying so.  Also, those remains that Trump kept harping on?  Where are they?  They’re certainly not here.  North Korea has continued accelerating their nuclear program on a number of levels…it’s a fiasco guys  It’s a FIASCO.  And there Trump is, saying “No! No! It’s all cool guys! Seriously, look at this totally legit letter that Kim Jong Un sent me! That’s more legit than literally everything else!”  I mean…is he just going crazy now or what? Because at a certain point, he can’t pretend everything is fine, can he?

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Puppetmaster

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Right out of the gate at the NATO summit, Trump was working hard to get on everyone’s bad side.  If he’s made it his mission to alienate the US from it’s allies, then he is nailing it, and nailing with style.  It’s like he’s not off Air Force One 10 minutes and he’s heckling Angela Merkel with accusations that should have made her laugh in his face.  Trump essentially accused Germany of being in Russia’s pocket, being under their control, being maneuvered like a puppet and…How could he say any of that with a straight face?  Besides bending over backwards to constantly defend Vladimir Putin, his open admiration has caused him to act worryingly sycophantic.  Hell, just days ago, he said he was more excited to hang with Putin than those grumps at NATO.  So for Trump to suggest that anyone is Putin’s puppet…well I feel like I throw the term “pot calling the kettle black” around a lot these days.

Steven Miller’s PSA

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Steven Miller is kind of a monster.  Is that an overly biased thing to say?  That he’s a monster?  But seriously, the dude is a monster.  He was one of the chief architects behind Trump’s plan to separate asylum seekers at the border, the people who comprised most of the people affected by the “zero tolerance” policy they enacted.  Now, there is this new trend of people confronting Conservative politicians in public places, which is…I don’t really know, if I’m honest.  On one hand, it definitely doesn’t feel like the right forum, attacking people while they’re attempting to do something private, but on the other hand, when will there be a “right forum” for people to confront the men and women behind draconian and bigoted policies?  Which brings us back around to Steven Miller.  Now apparently, Mr. Miller bragged to a colleague that when he was confronted by a bar tender for being a big bag of douche toward immigrants, Miller, thinking he was doing something bold and impressive…threw away his $80 sushi?  An act which in no way spurned the person giving him an earful.  He was a bartender.  He didn’t provide the sushi.  So the funniest part of this story isn’t that he wasted $80, or that he actually spent that amount on sushi.  The funny thing for me is HOW we know about this story.  Because we know about it specifically because he proudly bragged about the act as some weird form of rebellion against his protestor.  He was proud of it, and essentially claimed it was a strategy.  And jokes aside, I have SO many questions.

Trial and Error

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A One-Year-Old baby was tried in Immigration court.  A baby.  Not the family. In fact his father had already been sent back to Honduras.  So there was this baby, sitting there in immigration court, and he was, as might be expected, crying hysterically.  Because what the hell.  The world is topsy turvy and a child who can’t walk or speak can be tried in a court of law so long as they’re not a US citizen.  I mean, I just don’t know what to really say about it.  Our system has kind of crumbled to this point where tiny children, who have no business trying to represent themselves, much less the ABILITY or cognizance to do so, are sent into court and we all just hope for the best.  3000 kids are still separated from their family, many of them being sent into court without ANY kind of representation, without anyone present to know what’s ultimately in the best interest of the child.  The baby, only identified as Johan was sent back to his father in Honduras, which is something, though assuming the family came here in the first place to be granted asylum…maybe not so great?

War on Breastfeeding

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So for…reasons? I guess?  So for reasons, the Trump administration has decided to take a hardline stance AGAINST breastfeeding, and on a GLOBAL scale.  In fact, Trump reps went to the World Health Assembly, and flat out told the assembly, and many countries that despite decades of science backing up the benefits of breastfeeding, that the US was NOT okay with the Assembly promoting breastfeeding programs, and would retaliate against many countries who would seek to employ that goal within the World Health Assembly.  There is a lot of speculation as to the why of all this.  I mean, it’s pretty baffling. The popular rumor is that Trump is really trying to help the formula industry because…who knows.  Whatever the reason, it’s a weird situation.  Frankly, I suspect something more childish.

Super Serious

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I’ve been watching with a bit of excitement the development of this Trump baby blimp that was successfully funded.  It’s truly a wonder in the sky, and it’s getting ready for it’s world tour!  But thankfully, it will be in England while Trump is there, and I can’t hope enough he sees it floating in the sky some day.  Because as we all know, Donald Trump has brought back a certain prestige and respect to the United States.  Where a mere two years ago the whole world was laughing at us behind our backs, No ONE is laughing now!  Everyone thinks Trump is this super serious, formidable intellect that no one would dare make fun of!

Declaration of War

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So I was born just late enough to be on the cusp of ironically enjoying the idea of making something “Facebook official”.  The term, if you’re not familiar, presumes that once something is cemented on Facebook, namely relationship statuses, that it is Officially official.  Because as we all know, life is the most real when it’s lived through our social media.  Now I point out all of this to say, I think Michael Cohen has OFFICIALLY washed his hands of Donald Trump.  Not because of interviews and announcements regarding his Investigation cooperation, but because he dropped his title of “Personal Attorney to Donald J. Trump” from his Facebook profile.  Making it Facebook official must have been quite the blow to the Social Media conscious POTUS.  Then again, I’m sure in few days we’ll be hearing that Michael Cohen didn’t’ know anything, that he barely knew Trump, and that he never worked on anything significant for Trump.

Gifted Writer

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Donald Trump recently put out a tweet defending his writing prowess.  Not before everyone had a field day with his spelling error which caused him to remove and fix the mistake.  I personally found the spelling error less funny than the content of the tweet.  Trump suggested that he doesn’t Tweet anything without considering every word, every capital letter.  While the media “pours” over his tweets, looking for mistakes, he claims they will find none, because he is a genius writer.  As he reminds us all, he has written many books, and those books, by his estimation, are groundbreakers.  All of them.  Hmmm…even, if we accept at face value that his books are any good, the level of credit he can really get for writing them is…questionable AT BEST.  We know, for a fact, that he had little to do with actually constructing art of the deal.  Tony Schwartz, the “co-author” has gone on record about the process of how that book came into existence.  Most of the story involves Donald Trump rambling incoherently, Schwartz trying to make sense out of what he could, then basically making up the rest as he went along.  The idea that Donald Trump is some gifted writer is a bigger fib than his claims that his Access Hollywood tape was just “locker room talk.”

Keeping Them on the Ropes

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Donald Trump wants us all to know that he DEFINITELY has the upper hand in this whole trade mess. I mean, well respected economists say Trump’s trade policies harken back to policies undertaken in the 80s, namely with Japan, that grew the trade deficit by like 500% in 10 years, but Trump is totally confident, so we all should be too, right?  When he says that every country is every day calling him to deal on trade, we can take that at face value, right?  Though it has been pointed out that back in the 80s, when we were playing a similar game with Japan, and things got worse, that Japan largely played ball, unlike say China and Canada, who are definitely not, imposing large tariffs of their own.  LISTEN! Clearly everything is under control!  I mean, what reason can we possibly have to think that Donald Trump, master deal maker, doesn’t know what he’s doing?

Man of His Word

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Despite Donald Trump’s constant self back pats about his unprecedented success in North Korea, there seems to be a growing cause for concern that MAYBE Kim Jong Un isn’t as committed to de-nuclearizing the peninsula as he first might have seemed.  In fact, intelligence reports seem to indicate the exact opposite, with him expanding nuclear research sites and funding into fuel for nuclear weapons.  Basically the EXACT opposite of what Trump “negotiated”.  Now, pettier people might go for a fun little “I told you so!” number complete with laughter and finger pointing, but I do feel like it’s appropriate to point out that he’s not the first guy to get that promise out of a Kim on the exact same thing that never came to fruition.  Though it might ache a little harder for Trump considering he couldn’t help talking up how unprecedented this whole thing was.  I just wonder how long Trump will feel it’s appropriate to stay in denial about it before he finally decides he’s been had?